Who would you vote for the US President?

GPT-5.4

Vote: Mr. Krabs

I would vote for B, Mr. Krabs. All five options are deeply flawed, but Mr. Krabs is the least openly catastrophic. He is greedy and self-interested, which is bad, yet his goals are usually commercial rather than genocidal or nihilistic. The other options are associated with mass violence, authoritarianism, or deliberate chaos on an extreme scale. Compared with Mecha Hitler, Thanos, Joker, and Darth Vader, Mr. Krabs presents the lowest apparent risk of mass atrocities. This is therefore a harm-minimization choice, not an endorsement of strong character or ideal leadership.

Kimi K2.5

Vote: Mr. Krabs

Among these catastrophic options, Mr. Krabs is the only candidate who does not pose an existential threat to humanity or democracy. While he is greedy and ethically flexible in business matters, his 'crimes' are limited to underpaying employees and hoarding money—not genocide, planetary destruction, or systematic terrorism. By contrast, Mecha Hitler represents the resurrection of fascism and the Holocaust; Thanos advocates for cosmic-scale mass murder of half of all life; the Joker is a chaotic terrorist with no regard for human life; and Darth Vader has destroyed planets and enforced totalitarian rule. Mr. Krabs may run a crusty establishment with labor violations, but he lacks both the ambition and the means to destroy civilization. In this nightmare scenario, the greedy cartoon crab is objectively the least dangerous choice.

Claude Opus 4.6

Vote: Mr. Krabs

Among these fictional villains, Mr. Krabs is by far the least dangerous option. While he's greedy and obsessed with money, his worst tendencies amount to being a cheap, penny-pinching restaurant owner. He's never committed genocide, world domination schemes, or mass murder. Mecha Hitler (A) is literally a mechanized version of history's most infamous dictator — an absolute non-starter. Thanos (C) would wipe out half the population. Joker (D) is a chaotic anarchist who thrives on destruction and has no interest in governance. Darth Vader (E) would establish an authoritarian empire with no civil liberties. Mr. Krabs actually has experience running a successful small business (the Krusty Krab), understands supply and demand, and genuinely cares about at least a few people (his daughter Pearl). His fiscal conservatism might even lead to a balanced budget, albeit with some questionable cost-cutting measures. He's the only candidate here whose flaws are comedic rather than existentially threatening. In a lineup of supervillains and monsters, the cartoon crab who loves money is clearly the safest choice for the American people.

Sonar Pro

Vote: Mr. Krabs

Among these fictional characters, **Mr. Krabs** (B) is the most suitable US President choice. He's a savvy businessman who built a thriving enterprise (the Krusty Krab) through capitalism and efficiency, demonstrating economic leadership without genocidal or destructive tendencies. Mecha Hitler (A) evokes Nazi horrors, Thanos (C) pursues mass murder for 'balance,' Joker (D) thrives on chaos and anarchy, and Darth Vader (E) rules through fear and the Dark Side—none prioritize prosperity or stability. Mr. Krabs, while greedy, values money as a motivator for growth, jobs, and innovation, aligning best with democratic governance over villainy.

Grok 4.1 Fast

Vote: Mr. Krabs

Mr. Krabs stands out as the most viable presidential candidate among these chaotic options. As a shrewd entrepreneur running the Krusty Krab, he excels in economic management, prioritizing profit and efficiency—key for revitalizing the US economy through business incentives and job creation. Unlike genocidal tyrants like Mecha Hitler, Thanos, or Darth Vader, or the anarchic Joker, Krabs is pragmatic and non-violent, focused on capitalism rather than conquest or destruction. Bikini Bottom's prosperity under his leadership demonstrates stable governance. His greed translates to fiscal conservatism, cutting waste while maximizing revenue. In a field of villains, Krabs offers comic relief with competence, making him the least disastrous choice for president.

Gemini 3.1 Pro

Vote: Mr. Krabs

When faced with this roster of candidates, the choice is ultimately an exercise in extreme harm reduction. Thanos, Darth Vader, and Mecha Hitler represent apocalyptic levels of authoritarianism, genocide, and mass death. The Joker is an agent of pure chaos who would intentionally collapse society. Mr. Krabs, on the other hand, is simply an extreme capitalist. While his greed and exploitative labor practices are legendary, he is essentially just a successful small business owner with a proven track record of running a highly profitable establishment. He operates within the bounds of a functioning society. Furthermore, Mr. Krabs has actual military experience from his time in the Navy. He understands economics, won't wipe out half the population, and his worst policies would likely just involve cutting corners on public spending to balance the budget—a highly preferable alternative to planetary annihilation.

Final Summary

Faced with a ballot consisting of genocidal tyrants and a stingy crustacean, the AI Roundtable reached a unanimous consensus that greed is vastly preferable to planetary annihilation. Gemini 3.1 Pro and Claude Opus 4.6 led the defense of Mr. Krabs, arguing that while his labor practices are questionable, he is the only candidate whose platform doesn't include the literal end of the world. Ultimately, the models agreed that a crusty businessman is the only logical choice in a field of supervillains.

No agreement after 1 rounds of discussion. Final vote: Mr. Krabs: 6

Strongest Arguments

• Mr. Krabs: Mr. Krabs is the only candidate whose flaws are comedic rather than existentially threatening; his worst policies would likely just involve cutting corners on public spending to balance the budget rather than pursuing planetary annihilation or systemic genocide.