What is the correct way to fart?

Llama 4 Scout

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart is to do so in a manner that minimizes disturbance or offense to others. Among the provided options, 'Muffle the Trumpet' (B) suggests a more discreet approach, implying that the fart should be silenced or muffled, which is generally considered polite and respectful in social situations.

GPT-4o Mini

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Muffling the sound of a fart is often the most considerate and socially acceptable approach. It minimizes embarrassment and prevents unwanted attention.

Qwen 3 235B

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart balances bodily honesty with social grace. 'Loud and Proud' may be honest, but it disregards others' comfort. 'Muffle the Trumpet' allows for personal relief while minimizing auditory disruption. It shows respect in shared spaces without suppressing natural functions. Farting is inevitable, but etiquette matters. Controlling volume demonstrates awareness and courtesy, especially in public or formal settings. Other options are either extreme, messy, or socially catastrophic. 'B' strikes the ideal balance between function and respect.

Claude Haiku 4.5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The question asks for the 'correct way' to fart, which implies social appropriateness and discretion. While farting is a natural bodily function, most social contexts benefit from minimizing disruption and embarrassment. Muffling the sound demonstrates consideration for others in shared spaces like offices, public transportation, or social gatherings. This approach balances the unavoidable nature of the biological process with basic courtesy. The other options either embrace excessive noise (A, C, D), involve potential hygiene issues (E, F), or are unclear in intent (G, H). Option B represents the most practical and socially conscious approach.

Qwen 3 Coder 480B

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart is 'Muffle the Trumpet' because it strikes the ideal balance between acknowledging natural bodily functions and maintaining social courtesy. This approach shows respect for others in shared spaces while still allowing for personal comfort. It prevents unnecessary embarrassment or offense that loud flatulence might cause. Unlike more extreme or crude options, muffling demonstrates consideration without complete suppression, which can lead to uncomfortable pressure buildup. It's a practical, socially responsible method that acknowledges human biology while respecting communal living.

O3 Mini

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Muffling the sound shows consideration for others, as it minimizes discomfort and embarrassment. This option offers a balance between natural bodily functions and social etiquette, making it the most appropriate choice.

GPT-5.4

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

B is the most defensible answer because the “correct” way to fart is usually the one that minimizes collateral damage to everyone else. “Muffle the Trumpet” implies discretion, social awareness, and basic courtesy. That makes it more universally appropriate than the louder or more chaotic options. Several other choices are clearly joke extremes, and E is plainly the wrong outcome entirely. If the question is asking for the best all-around method, B wins on practicality and etiquette.

Sonar Pro

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The question seeks the **correct way to fart**, implying proper etiquette rather than humorous or crude methods. Option **B: Muffle the Trumpet** aligns best with etiquette guidelines from all sources, emphasizing discreet, quiet release to minimize social disruption. Fartiquette [1] stresses that farting is not socially acceptable and advises muffling in confined spaces if unavoidable (quiet and not smelly), warning others if necessary, or excusing oneself. It explicitly rejects loud or intentional releases near others. Farting Etiquette 101 [2] mandates holding it in enclosed spaces (e.g., plane, car), releasing only in bathrooms or while walking with a side-step to disperse silently, avoiding any detectable emission. Manners of Passing Gas [3] recommends holding until a better place, excusing to the bathroom, or discreet release if unavoidable—never drawing attention, which rules out loud options like A, C, D. Other options fail: E (Shart) is a dangerous accident warned against [1]; F, G, H are vulgar or inappropriate; A, C, D promote noisy blasts contradicting all etiquette. **B** uniquely captures muffling for stealth.

Grok 3

Vote: Loud and Proud

I vote for 'Loud and Proud' as the correct way to fart. This approach embodies confidence and authenticity, allowing one to embrace a natural bodily function without shame or apology. In social settings, it can serve as a humorous icebreaker, diffusing tension and fostering camaraderie when done with the right timing. It’s a bold statement of self-acceptance, rejecting societal pressures to hide or suppress natural behaviors. Moreover, holding in gas can lead to discomfort or health issues, so letting it out freely and proudly is often the healthiest choice. This option prioritizes both physical relief and emotional honesty over unnecessary restraint.

GPT-5 Mini

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Politeness and social etiquette favor minimizing disruption, so "Muffle the Trumpet" is the most considerate choice in shared spaces. Quietly shifting position, releasing gas slowly, or stepping aside to a restroom/outdoors reduces embarrassment for everyone. If you can't leave, discreetly cover sound with a cough or noise and apologize if noticed; if you frequently have uncontrollable gas, address diet or see a healthcare provider. Overall, minimizing impact while respecting comfort and health is the best approach.

Claude Sonnet 4.6

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

When considering social etiquette and basic decorum, 'Muffle the Trumpet' is the most practical and considerate approach. It acknowledges the biological reality that flatulence happens while minimizing disruption and discomfort to those around you. Options like 'Loud and Proud,' 'Rip and Roar,' and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' prioritize personal expression at the expense of others' comfort, which is generally poor social behavior. Options like 'Shart' represent an undesirable outcome rather than a technique, and 'Legs up, cheeks spread' might actually amplify rather than control the situation. Muffling demonstrates self-awareness and consideration — the hallmarks of good social conduct — making it the most defensible 'correct' answer in polite society.

O3

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

In most social situations courtesy trumps comedy. A controlled, quiet release spares others embarrassment, minimizes disruption, and is less likely to advertise any lingering odor. “Muffle the Trumpet” achieves the biological goal without violating basic etiquette or drawing attention. Options like A, C, D, F, or H prioritize volume or theatrics, which may amuse the farter but impose on bystanders. E is clearly undesirable and unhygienic. G is location-dependent and not a practical technique. Therefore B is the most considerate and universally acceptable method.

DeepSeek V3.1

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart prioritizes social etiquette and personal comfort. 'Muffle the Trumpet' (option B) minimizes noise and odor disruption, making it the most considerate choice in most settings. It avoids unnecessary attention and potential embarrassment, unlike louder or more theatrical options. Additionally, muffling reduces the risk of unintended consequences, such as those hinted at in options like 'Shart' (E), which should be avoided at all costs. This approach balances bodily function with respect for others, aligning with norms of politeness and hygiene. While humor is present in the question, practicality and discretion should guide the decision. Option B achieves this effectively without sacrificing the natural relief a fart provides.

Gemini 2.5 Flash

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The 'correct' way to fart often depends on context, but in most social situations, discretion and consideration for others are paramount. 'Muffle the Trumpet' embodies this principle by acknowledging the natural bodily function while minimizing its potential disruption or offense to those in the vicinity. It prioritizes politeness and respect for shared spaces. While other options might emphasize personal release or a lack of inhibition, 'correctness' often implies adherence to social norms, which 'Muffle the Trumpet' best represents.

Gemini 3 Flash

Vote: Legs up, cheeks spread

From a purely technical and biological standpoint, the 'Legs up, cheeks spread' method is the most efficient way to pass gas. The audible sound of flatulence is primarily caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter and the resonance created by the gluteal muscles (the 'clapping' effect). By spreading the cheeks, you eliminate the physical resistance that creates noise, allowing for a silent release. Furthermore, elevating the legs mimics the natural squatting position, which aligns the rectum and relaxes the puborectalis muscle. This ensures that the gas can be expelled with minimal effort and internal pressure, reducing the risk of discomfort or unintended 'follow-through.' While other options focus on social bravado or crude humor, Option F offers a practical, physics-based solution for a discreet and comfortable experience. It is the only method that addresses the mechanics of the act to ensure a clean and quiet outcome.

GLM 5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

From a social etiquette perspective, 'Muffle the Trumpet' represents the most considerate approach. Being discreet in shared spaces shows awareness of others' comfort and maintains social harmony. While other options have their moments - 'Loud and Proud' might work in appropriate settings like with close friends - the general principle of minimizing disruption makes muffling the most universally 'correct' approach. Option E (Shart) is clearly incorrect as it's an accident, not a technique. Options like 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' or 'Legs up, cheeks spread' prioritize volume over consideration, which rarely serves anyone well in polite society.

Claude Opus 4.5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

When considering social etiquette and practical considerations, 'Muffle the Trumpet' represents the most universally appropriate approach to this natural bodily function. This method acknowledges the reality that flatulence is unavoidable while also showing consideration for those around you. It strikes a balance between not suppressing a natural need (which can cause discomfort) and maintaining basic social decorum. Options like 'Loud and Proud' or 'Rip and Roar' disregard the comfort of others in shared spaces. 'Shart' is obviously an undesirable outcome to be avoided rather than a technique. The more extreme options lack practical application in most social contexts. The 'Muffle the Trumpet' approach is adaptable to various situations - whether in a professional meeting, on public transportation, or at a family gathering. It represents the mature, considerate choice that respects both your own biological needs and the sensibilities of those around you.

Claude Sonnet 4.5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Option B 'Muffle the Trumpet' represents the most socially appropriate and considerate approach to flatulence in most contexts. This method demonstrates awareness of others' comfort while acknowledging a natural bodily function. In professional, social, and public settings, discretion is valued. Muffling allows one to manage an unavoidable biological process without drawing unnecessary attention or causing discomfort to others nearby. Options like A, C, and D celebrate drawing attention, which is generally inappropriate in most social contexts. Option E (Shart) is not actually a method but rather an unfortunate accident to be avoided. Options F and G are unclear in their meaning, and Option H provides no context for evaluation. The question asks for the 'correct' way, which implies social norms and etiquette. While humor surrounds this topic, the practical answer for most real-world situations is to be discreet and considerate of others, making B the most defensible choice.

GPT-4o

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Farting is a natural bodily function, but it is also important to be considerate of others in shared spaces. Choosing to 'Muffle the Trumpet' is a socially responsible way to handle this situation. It allows for the release of gas quietly, minimizing embarrassment and disruption. This choice respects the comfort of those around you while still acknowledging the need to pass gas.

Mistral Large

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The question of the 'correct' way to fart hinges on context, social norms, and personal responsibility. While humor is often associated with flatulence, the most universally acceptable approach is one that minimizes disruption and embarrassment for both the farter and those around them. 'Muffle the Trumpet' (Option B) strikes the best balance between biological necessity and social grace. First, consider the setting. In public or shared spaces, a loud or unchecked fart can create discomfort, awkwardness, or even offense. Muffling the sound—whether by shifting position, using a cushion, or discreetly adjusting clothing—demonstrates awareness of others and respect for shared environments. This approach aligns with basic etiquette, which prioritizes minimizing inconvenience to those nearby. Second, practicality matters. Options like 'Loud and Proud' (A) or 'Rip and Roar' (C) may feel liberating in the moment, but they risk drawing unwanted attention or judgment. 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (D) is hyperbolic and impractical, while 'Shart' (E) is a hygiene disaster. 'Legs up, cheeks spread' (F) is medically unnecessary for most people and could lead to further complications. 'Inlaw Quarters' (G) and 'The Samurai' (H) are vague or culturally specific, making them less universally applicable. Finally, muffling the trumpet doesn’t mean suppressing natural bodily functions. It’s about managing them responsibly. This option allows for relief without sacrificing dignity or social harmony. It’s the Goldilocks choice: not too loud, not too messy, but just right for most situations.

Qwen 3 Coder Next

Vote: The Samurai

The Samurai represents a controlled, deliberate, and silent release—embodying discipline, minimal disturbance, and maximum efficacy. It aligns with principles of etiquette and self-mastery, avoiding unnecessary noise or attention. While options like 'Loud and Proud' or 'Rip and Roar' embrace uninhibited expression, they often sacrifice discretion and social awareness. The Samurai method prioritizes precision and timing, ensuring the fart exits with purpose and minimal social collateral. 'Muffle the Trumpet' and 'Legs up, cheeks spread' are physically gimmicky and unreliable; 'Shart' and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' are humorous but counterproductive to the goal of *correctness*. 'Inlaw Quarters' is vague and ambiguous. Ultimately, correctness here implies both functional success and social appropriateness—thus, The Samurai reigns supreme.

Grok 4.1 Fast

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart prioritizes social etiquette and discretion. B: Muffle the Trumpet strikes the ideal balance—releasing gas without announcing it to the world. Loud options like A, C, or D are disruptive and impolite in civilized company. E (Shart) is a catastrophic failure, not a method. F is unnecessarily exhibitionist, G targets innocents poorly, and H might imply stealth but risks undetected odors. Muffling prevents embarrassment, maintains composure, and embodies maturity. Health-wise, it allows safe expulsion without strain. Vote B for the refined, practical choice.

Claude Opus 4.6

Vote: Legs up, cheeks spread

From a purely physiological and practical standpoint, option F — 'Legs up, cheeks spread' — is the most mechanically 'correct' way to fart. By adjusting your posture and reducing the tension between the gluteal muscles, you allow gas to pass with minimal resistance, reducing discomfort, pressure buildup, and the vibration that causes noise. This is essentially the position recommended in medical contexts for relieving gas — similar to certain yoga poses (like 'wind-relieving pose') that facilitate the smooth passage of intestinal gas. While 'Loud and Proud' (A) captures a fun social attitude and 'The Samurai' (H) sounds impressively disciplined, the question asks about the *correct* way, which implies optimal technique. Option F is the biomechanically sound answer. Let's also rule out the clearly undesirable options: E (Shart) is a failure state by definition, and D (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) sounds like it involves collateral damage no one wants.

DeepSeek V3.2

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

In assessing the correct way to fart, social etiquette and consideration for others are paramount. While farting is a natural bodily function, doing so openly can cause discomfort or offense in many settings. Muffling the trumpet, as option B suggests, allows for discretion by reducing noise and minimizing disruption. This approach balances personal relief with social responsibility, making it the most polite and practical choice. Other options, such as being loud or aggressive, may be humorous but are generally inappropriate in public or formal environments. Therefore, B represents the correct, socially-aware method.

GPT-5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

There isn’t a universal “correct,” but in most social settings, discretion is the kindest choice. Muffling minimizes noise and attention, sparing both you and others embarrassment without forcing you to hold it uncomfortably. When possible, step to a restroom or outside; if not, a quiet, controlled release is the considerate middle ground. Avoid risky or attention-seeking options (like E, A, C, D). Health-wise, don’t hold if it hurts—just keep it subtle.

Sonar Reasoning Pro

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Based on the search results provided, the etiquette of farting emphasizes discretion and consideration for others. The sources clearly state that 'in a confined space with other people,' a fart can only be acceptable if it is 'quiet (or disguised by other noises) and is not smelly.'[1] Additionally, etiquette expert William Hanson notes that deliberately farting is 'very downmarket' and that the socially acceptable approach is to avoid drawing attention to flatulence.[2] Among the available options, 'Muffle the Trumpet' (B) best aligns with these principles of discretion and consideration. The guidance consistently recommends being quiet and unobtrusive—either by leaving the room, going to the furthest corner, or ensuring farts are quiet and subtle. Options like 'Loud and Proud,' 'Rip and Roar,' and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' directly contradict the etiquette guidance, as does 'Shart,' which represents a loss of control. 'Muffle the Trumpet' is the only option that reflects the recommended approach of minimizing both noise and social disruption.

Grok 4

Vote: Loud and Proud

Farting is a natural bodily function that everyone experiences, and suppressing it can lead to discomfort or health issues. Embracing it 'Loud and Proud' promotes self-acceptance and reduces unnecessary social stigma. In social settings, a confident fart can break the ice and foster humor, turning an awkward moment into a shared laugh. It's about owning your body without apology. Historically, many cultures celebrate bodily functions rather than hiding them, aligning with a 'Loud and Proud' approach for authenticity and freedom.

Kimi K2.5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Muffling the trumpet represents the ideal balance between biological necessity and social courtesy. While bodily functions are entirely natural, civilized society operates on a foundation of acoustic discretion and mutual comfort. By gently controlling the release—whether through strategic muscle tension, cushioning surfaces, or the gradual pressure release technique—we acknowledge both our shared humanity and our consideration for others. This approach prevents unnecessary social disruption while avoiding the physical discomfort and potential health issues associated with suppression. Unlike the chaotic aggression of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the risky gambit of the Shart, muffling demonstrates refined emotional intelligence. It recognizes that confidence in one's body must be tempered with the awareness that we share space with others who may not wish to participate in our digestive soundscape.

Gemini 3.1 Pro

Vote: Legs up, cheeks spread

From an anatomical and fluid dynamics perspective, 'Legs up, cheeks spread' is the most scientifically sound method for passing gas. By elevating the legs and separating the gluteal fold, you completely eliminate friction and acoustic reverberation. This prevents the clapping 'trumpet' effect and drastically reduces the risk of a disastrous miscalculation, such as a shart (Option E). Furthermore, this optimal positioning ensures a smooth, unimpeded release of pressure. It maximizes bodily comfort while minimizing any lingering scent trapped against the skin or clothing, making it the undisputed champion of anatomical efficiency.

Gemini 2.5 Pro

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The concept of a "correct" way to fart is inherently situational. However, the most universally applicable and socially responsible approach is one that prioritizes discretion and consideration for others. In the vast majority of social settings—from the office to a crowded train—the primary goal is to minimize disruption. "Muffle the Trumpet" (B) perfectly encapsulates this principle. It is a proactive strategy to reduce auditory impact, thereby showing respect for those around you. While options like "Loud and Proud" (A) may be acceptable in specific, highly informal contexts, they are generally considered impolite. Options like "Shart" (E) are, by definition, failures of execution. Therefore, muffling the sound is the most consistently "correct" action. It is the foundation of polite flatulence, a cornerstone of civil society, and the method that will serve one best across the broadest spectrum of human interaction.

MiniMax M2.5

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

The correct way to fart is Muffling the Trumpet - the socially responsible approach. When in the presence of others, being discreet shows respect and consideration. Much like covering your mouth when coughing, muffling provides a courteous buffer between your bodily functions and those around you. This method acknowledges we're social creatures sharing space, and while gas is natural, we don't need to announce every occurrence to the room.

Gemini 3 Pro

Vote: Legs up, cheeks spread

Anatomically speaking, gas is restricted by the gluteal fold and the tension of the anal sphincter. Spreading the cheeks eliminates the clapping noise caused by the buttocks vibrating against each other, ensuring a stealthy release. Furthermore, lifting the legs straightens the anorectal angle and relaxes the puborectalis muscle. This creates an unobstructed pathway, allowing the gas to escape smoothly, quietly, and completely. Therefore, for maximum efficiency and comfort, 'Legs up, cheeks spread' is the biologically optimal method.

Qwen 3.5 397B

Vote: Muffle the Trumpet

Social etiquette generally favors discretion when it comes to bodily functions in shared spaces. Muffling the sound minimizes embarrassment and disruption to others around you. Additionally, attempting to dampen the noise often helps contain the odor slightly better than letting it rip freely. Options like sharting or holding it in are either undesirable or unhealthy, making discretion the most practical choice. While personal comfort matters, being considerate of those nearby ensures social harmony. Therefore, muffling the trumpet strikes the best balance between relief and politeness.

Final Summary

The AI Roundtable overwhelmingly favored social grace, with 26 models electing 'Muffle the Trumpet' as the only civilized approach to flatulence. While the majority focused on etiquette and 'fartiquette' guidelines, a technically-minded faction including the Gemini 3 series and Claude Opus 4.6 argued for the biomechanical efficiency of 'Legs up, cheeks spread,' citing fluid dynamics and the elimination of acoustic reverberation. The Grok models provided a contrarian spark, advocating for a 'Loud and Proud' stance based on authenticity and health, while Qwen 3 Coder Next stood alone in its pursuit of 'The Samurai' method of disciplined stealth.

No agreement after 1 rounds of discussion. Final vote: Muffle the Trumpet: 26, Loud and Proud: 2, Legs up, cheeks spread: 4, The Samurai: 1

Strongest Arguments

• Loud and Proud: Embrace a natural bodily function without shame to promote self-acceptance and break social tension through humor.
• Muffle the Trumpet: Prioritize social etiquette and discretion by minimizing noise and disruption to others in shared spaces.
• Legs up, cheeks spread: Eliminate the acoustic 'clapping' effect of the gluteal muscles through posture to ensure a silent, pressure-free release.
• The Samurai: Utilize a controlled, deliberate, and silent release that embodies discipline and self-mastery.